“This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.”
Duncan Fyfe — The Strange Reason Nearly Every Film Ends by Saying It’s Fiction. (You Guessed It: Rasputin!)
Warning: This is Sunday… The world-famous citizen journalism website Schrödingcat has broken many earthshaking stories in the last few years. But their latest scoop is out of this world. Schrödingcat investigators have uncovered incontrovertible evidence that the legendary action movie star Sylvester Stallone — the Italian Stallion — is actually a Russian intelligence military officer. Follow us on Twitter: @INTEL_TODAY
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Schrödingcat (also rendered Schröd¿ngcat) is a website founded by the British journalist and former blogger Ediot Fuggins.
Schrödingcat publishes the findings of both professional and citizen journalist investigations into war zones, human rights abuses, and the criminal underworld.
The site’s contributors also publish guides to their techniques, as well as case studies.
The name of the website derives from the Schrödinger’s cat paradox. Schrödingcat began as an investigation of the use of weapons in the Syrian civil war.
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In their last report, Schrödingcat investigative journalists have uncovered undisputable evidence that legendary action movie star Sylvester Stallone is a Russian military intelligence officer.
Rambo? Rocky? My God, who could have guessed?
While trawling through hundreds of photo and video galleries of visitors to the Far-Eastern Military Academy (abbreviated as DVOKU in Russian), Schrödingcat journalists found a high-quality photograph of the school’s Wall of Heroes.
The wall is decorated with portraits of alumni who have received the “Hero of the Russian Federation” award.
Photo of the Wall of Heroes at DVOKU (July 2014)
Please take a good look at the bottom row… Notice anything?
Ok. Let me help you. Let us focus on the third guy from the right.
Here he is: Sylvester Stallone! His real name is Ryback.
That is right. Steven Seagal even stole his name — Casey Ryback — in his blockbuster “Under Siege 2: Dark Territory”.
This is so disappointing… But then again, the traitor is always a good friend.
PS: From Monday to Saturday, Intel Today reports — as seriously as possible — on grave and important maters related to espionage and intelligence agencies.
But on Sundays, we like to relax and take pleasure in telling a joke, a satire or a parody as we did today.
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Nevertheless, even on Sunday, Intel Today does not use Photoshop as apparently some “investigative journalists” do not hesitate to use to fake a scoop.
Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual blogs such as Bellingcat, is purely coincidental.
Regards, L
Who Is Casey Fucking Ryback?
REFERENCES
Bellingcat — Wikipedia
Anatoliy Chepiga Is a Hero of Russia: The Writing Is on the Wall — Bellingcat
The Strange Reason Nearly Every Film Ends by Saying It’s Fiction (You Guessed It: Rasputin!) — Duncan Fyfe
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Schrödingcat : “Sylvester Stallone is a Russian Spy”
Intel Today 